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Going Through The Motions

by Midnight Souls

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1.
Tainted 01:43
Caught up in the bright lights, young heart you’re still unaware that the lifeline you’ve been clinging to becomes the noose they’ll use to strangle you. And you’re going nowhere. Still stuck in your dead end scene with broken bones and scarred up skin, forever running that race you’ll never win. So here’s some truth to the lie you live: “We only take the shots we’re meant to miss!” You’re tainted. Tainted by the years. And weathered words over minor chords on your headphones behind locked bedroom doors won’t keep you safe.
2.
East/West 01:10
Please explain, what’s the point in this heart still beating? When nothing’s changed. The needle’s stuck and it keeps repeating. Still not wanted here, forever haunted here as we sleep wide awake through these coma years and every dream never dreamt makes it all to clear that we’re not ok. We’re just going through the motions baby. This is our toast so raise your cup. Here’s to the nights of giving up. Still not wanted here, forever haunted here.
3.
I’m always walking backwards, catching up on history. The yesterdays will forever haunt me, so thank you for the memories. And now I’m just a forgotten quote from the book that no one wrote. A dried up well and an unheard wish, lush lips with no one to kiss. Don’t talk to me about letting go, when letting go is all I know. I see myself in TV screens and it’s always the same scene. Violins sing their sorrow sound as they lower that casket down. Oh merry me, please bury me (in every grave). Cause I’m sinking with the sun. Black days and the damage done. And all I want is to disappear. I got nothing to keep me here. Dear you, I should have known: “To be alive is to be alone and to love is to lose it all!” So hang your head when the curtain falls. I’m still coming to terms with “coming to terms with all of this.” Take your aim with a broken crosshair, my only chance of being missed. We’re running, we’re still running through the rains. We keep running. Nothing’s ever going to change.
4.
Heavenspent 03:02
This saint’s a sinner and I’m losing faith. And there’s no repentance in saving grace. So you can nail me to the cross in your church of misery. And at the altar of the damned, you can come and worship me. And I’ll wear your crown of thorns, with a spear stuck in my side. I’ll turn the other cheek, I’ll take it all in stride. Ring in the holy gospel of one life losing love and when you fake your prayers, I hope it’s me you’re thinking of. Absolve me from love’s lament. My angels came heavenspent. There is no hope for you. There never was for me (I’m sorry). We’re here in memory of holy you and blasphemy. Long live the resurrection of shameless self deception. We’ll get drunk on blessed wine and we’ll swear: “We’re doing fine.” And in the sacristy, I’ll make a bed for you and me. We’ll sleep through Sunday mass and let the world come to pass.
5.
Callow Youth 03:25
Say goodbye, walk away, cause it feels like we’re only ending. I’m the one you can trust to always let you down. If you’re not looking to be disappointed, please don’t come around. I’m fading out. We’re fading out. Box me up and shove me under your bed, alongside the cobwebs of callow years we shed. Let mournful memory bury me in history. Sometimes it’s best to forget. Our roles were cast and I played the part that broke a heart. So here’s to broken hearts. In the worst possible way, we’re becoming the cliché of reaching hands that will never touch when the distance is just too much. This is our dedication to lovesick self-medication and I’m OD’ing on heart shaped pills cause our love is a love that kills.
6.
We are the disenchanted, tried and true, worn out dead romantics. Hey hey! Here come the trophy boys of the heartache noise (so make way). Brittle brides and grooms exchanging broken vows in black lit lovelorn gloom. Come save me from these nights alone and the deafening sound of silent telephones. And everything is just everything to me, so I’ll play my song, so you can hum along to the malady of a tragic tune a piano plays in an empty room. Cause you’re not here. And I always knew we’d end up like this. It’s either cut your losses or slit your wrists. So come hear the holy hymns of our sacred sins and just keep confessing to receive your blessings. We’ll keep saving our souls until we get bored. We’ll keep bleeding out love until there’s no more. Pray for me love.
7.
Did you hear our hit song called “my better days”? It’s just silence split to stereo. The static noise of fading frequencies, so dance to the radio. Dreadful sons and dismal daughters in bedrooms of forgotten towns. We’re so out of style wearing second hand smiles. We’re going down in single file. And this is our tragedy, so come sing it back to me. Scream every vulgar verse in cadence of wasted words. And I wrote them all for you, penned down in desperate blue. Our reckless rescue plan, that fails us in the end. Time changes and love changes and death everything. I’m not the same as I was before. The sun still shuns us, but I just don’t care, not anymore. We’re the kids with the dimmest eyes. We kill ourselves just to feel alive again. We’re the chorus to a broken backbeat of hope’s fleeting heart hiding in the backstreets. Love, come take me away. I can never go back again. Love, come take me away. I smiled when it started, I’ll laugh when it ends. Love come take me away from me.
8.
I was cursed with flawless imperfections. I held onto life with fumbling hands. And I broke every promise before it was made. I never tried making amends, until it all was far too late. Rip out every page and close the books on me. Gather up my wasted years and throw them all away. Because I’m dead flowers on abandoned graves. I’m a black cloud looming, I’m the pouring rain. I’m the knife stuck in my own back. I’m the noose wrapped around my neck. I did this to myself. I’m taking walks down history and keep choking on apologies, that I locked behind closed lips but I can’t stand the taste in my mouth. So I keep coughing up cold breath and puking out love. Pawn myself to the Friday lights but I know that it’s never enough. I keep dragging myself down. I am losing “me”. I don’t remember “me”.
9.
Malaise 06:08
Wave goodbye. I’ll smash the lights in every goddamn town to keep the lost from being found. Wave goodbye to me.I wrote my life on a bathroom stall: “I was never really here at all”.

credits

released February 27, 2012

Words & music by Midnight Souls

Recorded, produced and mixed by Ace Zec at the Farmhouse,
October 30th to November 7th of 2011

Mastered by Alan Douches at West West Side Music

Reflections Records, 2012

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